Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Try walking in my shoes

A male friend of mine would often claim I was being too critical/picky whenever I described to him why I would reject potential suitors from dating sites.  One of my big deal breakers was when people would send me a message of "hey, what's up?" or "want to talk/get to know each other? " 

First of all, I'm not going to waste my time responding with "nothing. you?"  If that's a sample of how your typical conversations go, then we are not going to get along.  I need actual conversation with someone intelligent enough to understand the topics of interest and think critically about them.  And those topics are *not* drinking, drugs, the bar scene, sports, cars, sex, or douchebag music.  I think everyone has a few friends that are fun to "do" stuff with, but you really have nothing to talk about.  While that's ok, it's certainly not something I want in a significant other.

Secondly, I just don't get this kind of opening.  Why are you asking me permission to talk to me after you just talked to me?!  Also, way to waste my time.  You've just taken the hardship off yourself and put the ball in my court to come up with a topic of discussion.  If you're going to message me, the onus is on you to start the frikkin' conversation... otherwise I'm going to assume you're a lazy sonofabitch who wouldn't bother picking his underwear up off the floor if we lived together.

Recently my friend decided to make his account and now he has had the fortune to be slammed with emails from all the special girls of the web.  He's been bitching to me about getting emails just like the examples above, which I find hilarious.  If only I could bring him back in time and introduce him to his former self!

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