Monday, July 22, 2013

Fat baby seal


This was pretty much just another unremarkable, probably copied and pasted, message from some dude only interested in warm bodies until... I realized he was from my home town!

To make it even better - he was like 6 years old when I graduated high school.  This is too fucking precious.  I can't even deal right now.


I also realize I'd probably be tearing this message apart by now if anyone else had sent it.  But all I can think of is this:






And I'm all like, "D'awww.  Kids these days!"

Monday, July 15, 2013

Dating sites mansplained by professional mansplainer




I'm sorry that you're so butthurt because I decided to keep my account after finding someone (not sorry).  Why do you care anyway?  It's not like I'd ever date you.

Do you go around policing all the profiles of the guys on the site who are just looking for friends too? Because I run into them a lot... and then I *gasp* make friends with them.

But mostly I'm sorry that I didn't think of a good comeback until it was too late.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Of course he's from Steubenville



At first I just thought this guy was the typical weirdo that trawls OKC.  I've never visited his profile or rated him before, we've never spoken before, first message is some random, cryptic negging out of the blue - all standard fare for OKC basement dwellers and dudebros... but then I looked at his profile.



His profile is obnoxious all on its own with the typical backwater bitching about people having too many kids and then blaming it on women as if we reproduce by budding or some shit.  And then of course he "dig[s] crazy chicks" because who else would a classy fellow like this go after?  Or perhaps, more importantly, who else would go after a classy fellow like this?

But the real kicker here is that he's from Steubenville.






Normally I censor personal information like that because while I enjoy sharing my pain with you guys, I don't actually want to cause others grief (or lose my OKC profile).  But I felt in this one instance that it was abundantly necessary to retain as it constituted a key focal point of this post.  When I saw his location, naturally my mind went straight to the Steubenville rape trials. 

Now, in no way am I saying this dudebro is a rapist, but if his neolithic attitude and behavior toward women is typical of the area then I have no problem envisioning how such a scandal was so easily and ignorantly perpetrated, and then covered up.  But also notice his age.  He's Thirty-FUCKING-One.  A veritable adult.  And this is how he behaves on the internet toward women.

Yep.

Stay classy, Ohio.